Dr. Temple Grandin, a well-known academic with autism and member of the YAI Autism Center’s advisory council, has described her inability to understand typical social communication as making her feel "like an anthropologist on Mars." 

For people with autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), socializing can be incredibly overwhelming, leading to feelings of isolation and depression. Because having a strong network of friends and family is just as important for a balanced life as good nutrition and exercise, the YAI Network works with experts and people on the spectrum to address these needs, one relationship at a time.

Challenging interactions

“Being different isn’t being defective,” said Dr. Tony Attwood at the YAI Network’s Third Annual Autism Conference. “You don’t suffer from Asperger’s; you don’t lack empathy. You are just not able to read subtle signals."

While every person is different and some people with autism are very socially outgoing, a number of factors can contribute to the challenges that people with autism face when forming relationships with friends and co-workers.

• “Reading” other people’s emotions via body language, tone of voice and general demeanor does not come naturally to many people on the spectrum.
• Many people with autism don’t understand metaphors or figurative language.
• Some people with autism may fixate on one object or topic of conversation for an extended period of time without allowing other people to chime in.
• People with autism may have compulsive or repetitive mannerisms.
• People with ASDs may not know how to engage in typical social interactions, including eye contact, hand shaking, introductions, smooth conversational transitions and farewells.
• A lack of close friendships in childhood can add to an adult’s lack of confidence in meeting people and forming friendships.

Regardless of the reason, most people with autism don’t want to spend their lives in isolation. Throughout the YAI Network, a range of programs helps people of all ages and abilities with ASDs to make friends and increase the likelihood of future success.

‘Highlight of his week’

At the Rockland County Association for Learning Disabilities, Good Vibrations Plus has been helping children, ages 3-10, make friends with kids their own age since 2008. "I have seen so many positive changes in her behavior since coming to the Good Vibrations Plus program," said the parent of a 6-year-old girl.

Another parent, the father of an 8-year-old boy said that although his son was initially quite anxious to attend the group, “Saturday is the highlight of his week. We are definitely signing up for the next eight-week session.”

‘They have become a little family’

What began more than two years ago with four people with autism eating pizza and ignoring each other has now emerged into a full-fledged group called Broader Horizons. Today, members talk to each other, celebrate birthdays and are eager for their twice-a-week community outings.

Broader Horizons provides opportunities for young adults to meet new friends and develop social skills in a recreational setting.

“They have become a little family,” said Tricia Farengo, Supervisor of Broader Horizons. “For this group, it’s absolutely amazing! They’ve come a long way. They really know each other and it’s impressive that they have taken the time to get to know each other. That’s often so difficult for people on the spectrum.”

Nancy, whose 24-year-old son Brian participates in the group, couldn’t be happier to see her son making friends. “It’s great to see him become more independent,” she said.

Supporting adults with Asperger’s

National Institute of People with Disabilities of New Jersey (NIPD/NJ), a member of the YAI Network, launched the first of two support groups for adults with Asperger’s syndrome, one of the autism spectrum disorders, early this year, thanks to a grant from the New Jersey Division of Developmental Disabilities. “We’re excited to offer this unique new program, which combines socialization and support with vocational and employment training,” said John Schuckle, Senior Director of NIPD/NJ. Located in Passaic County, the program involves about two dozen participants. A similar program is in the works for Monmouth County.

“I really like meeting more people like me — with Asperger's,” said Alexandrea, a participant. “Reinforcing proper social skills is also definitely useful. This is a great program. I hope others can take advantage of it, no matter where they live.”

Another participant said, “What I like about the program so far is that I am beginning to improve my social interaction skills, which includes reading verbal and non-verbal cues as well as staying on topic in a conversation. In addition, I enjoy participating in the various activities, such as role-playing, that are conducted to make our skill developments more entertaining.  However, one of my true goals for being in this group is to help me become and remain friends with other people. I am becoming more acquainted with the members of my group, but I have a feeling that sooner or later, we will start becoming more than acquaintances; we will become friends.”

“I finally feel like I'm part of the clique,” said another member. “I was 59 when I found out I had Asperger’s!”

For the future

The YAI Autism Center is currently developing after-school arts programs for kids with ASD, including ballet and movement classes. “So many parents tell us that their kids with autism don’t have access to the same types of fun after-school activities as their other kids,” said Erica Pitman, LMSW, Social Worker at the YAI Autism Center. “These classes will have a therapeutic element, but will allow the children to learn typical activities and make friends with peers who may have similar interests."