by Philip Hay

What is the most mystifying day of the year for people on the spectrum? It may just be Halloween.

Think about it: masks, costumes, face paint? Ringing doorbells and asking for candy? Strangers ringing your doorbell and asking for candy? Wandering around at night? Carving pumpkins?

Halloween is supposed to be scary, but for many people on the spectrum, it's the sudden change in rules and weird clothing that is freaky, rather than the sudden preponderance of witches and zombies.

Halloween can be as low-key or high-voltage as you want it to be. The key is knowing your child (and yourself) and planning accordingly.

Six Tips for Celebrating Halloween

1. Start Early
As with most things in life, familiarity breeds...familiarity. A few weeks ahead of time, let your child practice trying on his or her costume (more about those later). Practice saying "trick or treat" and also responding when other people knock on your door and say "trick or treat."

2. Make the Rules Clear
Halloween has a very specific set of guidelines, and they typically vary from family to family. Some that won't: We dress like this on only one night per year; you may not go into people's houses after getting a treat; you cannot knock on strangers' doors on any other night of the year; mom and dad must look at the candy before any of it is consumed.

3. Costumes
People with sensory issues aren't going to stop having them for one night. Some people don't mind face paint; some people prefer masks; some people can tolerate neither. But fleece tracksuits can be decorated in any number of ways (pumpkin, tiger, snowman, bunny, an applique skeleton), and can make for a fun (and inexpensive) craft project. And, depending on the kid, a princess dress or sports jersey may not feel very different from what they would wear normally.

4. Moderate Everyone's Expectations
Maybe going door-to-door would be miserable for your kid. But maybe he would love to answer the door and give candy to other kids. Maybe trick-or-treating at two houses would be fine, but four would cause a meltdown. Or maybe driving around to the familiar houses of friends and relatives would be fun and joyful, while knocking on an unknown neighbor's door would be scary.

5. Don't Ban Candy
After all, it's pretty much the whole "point" of the holiday. Even if you don't want your kids to eat more than, say, two pieces, you can use the wrappers for craft projects and collages, or save it to make gift packages for the winter holidays. Many people on the spectrum enjoy organizing and arranging objects.

6. Invite People Over
Hosting even a small party is more labor intensive than trick-or-treating, but that way the surroundings are familiar and the person on the spectrum can have much greater control over his or her experience. Plus, it can be fun to make and send out invitations in advance and plan different activities.